What a depressed teen looks like!

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You wanna know what a depressed teen looks like?

Well i wish i could describe i wish i could say but even if i did no one would understand what the fuck is to pretend.. every single smile, and every single joke i make! Yes it’s fake, when you try to explain to your mom maybe she listens or shut down or she says it’s just a period and will gone.

You wanna know what a depressed teen looks like?

Ask me! I would say ow im fine and why would i deny i’d say I’m straight don’t worry mom, I’m normal, I’d say thank god you’re in my blood, i’d say i love you guys! You’re always by my side, you know me right?

But fuck what a lie! I don’t blame you, im the bad i know that, it wasn’t Michelle Jackson tube it was me the rude, i was acting and that’s true but why the fuck are straight people normal too, or why would i love people who never knew what I’m going through and still don’t blame you it takes a hundred years to know, to know what a depressed teen looks like and if you did so hello welcome home

Home sweet home what that supposed to mean because it never been, maybe because of the little fights at night? Or anytime actually.. i used to wonder why, now i prefer music up and get high cause none of them was right, and i stay with my depression.. quite and i wonder why this voice is so loud? No one could hear it, this is what it’s like to no one could save me and I’m not proud, of myself who i don’t know, damet where’s god! Which i always begged for some mercy but never cared. So why you told me that you’ll be there!

My story is about a teen girl searching for her way to be true, loved life for a while, she has big dreams but not anymore, depression won’t let her go and just wish she had a nap and never get up, i hate the thought of me being weak, from the day i was a kid, i never lost a game.. now? I’m the game so what’s the point of trying if i know I’m loosing the play.

They make fun of me! How dare you? I can’t tell, i can’t explain and you keep judging me from the two words i say, you don’t know my story why the hell you worry, you’re pretending to be a friend, but I’m sorry you’re not, not even close because how dare you to stay with someone who’s gay and doesn’t care about what people say unless when depression call, cause i can’t resist, cause i can’t control..

Depression became my friend, my loyal one..

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god is a fact or fiction?

for the first time im going to write my own opinion about this so the existance of god fact or fiction? i was actually hoping you’d ask that, it is a very common question that should definitely be answered! let’s begin with every event has a cause and a cause has a causer. the universe did not cause itself. obviously the big bang had to have been caused by something or someone. what caused it? i hope what I’m about to say makes sense so listen carefully. first of all god is not a physical being like us, god does not exist within our limits as humans or the any of the laws of the universe or god simply wouldn’t be a god. why would god exist under the limits of his creation? as humans we do not exist within the limits of a computer (our creation) second of all think about time. time is real isn’t it? but we can’t see it or physically test it like most things, yet it still affects us! believe it or not, we can actually use the concept of time to prove the existence of god. did time come from nothing? well first of all i think we can all agree that if nothing ever existed, nothing would have ever come to exist, therefore if nothing ever existed we wouldn’t be here. nothing would. since we are here and a reality does exist this isn’t an option. secondly if time has always excited why did the big bang happen exactly when it did? so something must have caused it, and something must have caused that( and now we are stuck in a loop) if time has always existed something created the big bang because since it happened a set amount of time (billions of years ago) what was happening a second before the big bang? a year? strike two! since we’ve gone through the first two possibilities, let’s consider the third: time was created that would make sense because it would also explain why god doesn’t have a beginning ( he created time) so therefore we can conclude that time had a beginning not god. since god did not have a beginning he was never created.. he excited before time did. so yes i believe that god is a fact we could never see it as humans but we can feel it and prove it.

the big secret

Statics say that there’s more than 100billion Galaxies in our universe. Each one of them contains hundreds of billions of stars, our own Galaxy has more than 400billion stars, and our own star which is massive compared to the earth that it would take 1,3 million earths to fill up, the  sun is nothing compared to other stars there’s a star named (VY canis majoris) and it’s bigger than our sun ?by 9,3 billion times can you imagine? earth among all of this if you think about it is pretty much nothing and this is only the universe we know.. the observable universe.. some scientists say that there’s other universes and our universe is nothing but a grain of sand among them. do you think that the one who made all these galaxies, all this universes is the same god you worship? is he the same god who tells you to enter the bathroom by your left leg? and the same one who you pray to before the school physics exam? in another way do you imagine that he gets sad? do you think he hates? loves you or even love in general ? commands or prohibits? in fact hate,sadness,love,satisfaction,command are all part of how the brain works some nerve cells in the brain. do you think even he has a brain? there’s more than 4000 religion right now on earth and everyone of them contains thousands of denominations. christianity alone splet into over 33,000 denominations can you imagine? and that’s only Christianity. each of these denominations say exacty what you say: everyone else is wrong, my holy book is the true one and every other book is false and has been tanpered. didn’t you realize the fact that everybody else say the same thing you say about your religion. till the moment we don’t know what created the universe, the secret of the universe is way greater than we will ever imagine as insignificant humans.